Trust Again Read online

  Maisie opened the door with a wide smile. “Happy Thanksgiving!” She held the door open for them all to shuffle inside. The house was warm and smelled like heaven. With their dog, Happy, curled up in front of the fireplace, Ellie felt like she’d just stepped into a picture perfect holiday.

  “That smells delicious!” Jacob told her.

  “It does.” Ellie nodded.

  Maisie smiled. “Thank you.” She kissed Milo’s head. “Dinner is ready, everyone is here. Let’s go eat.”

  Ellie slipped Milo out of his thick jacket. “Thanks for having us.”

  Mr. Oliver nodded. “You have a lovely home.”

  Ryan walked into the room. “We’re glad you could spend Thanksgiving with us. Maisie’s been cooking all day. Come on back.”

  They all followed Maisie and Ryan back to their kitchen and exchanged hellos with Maisie and Ryan’s families. Bowls of mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, stuffing and pies surrounded a perfectly browned turkey.

  Maisie pointed to the empty highchair next to her daughter. “We already bought another highchair for the baby, so Milo can sit next to Blossom.” The little girl dressed in a pink sweater dress and striped multi-colored tights was already finger painting her tray with mashed potatoes.

  Ryan pulled out a chair for his pregnant wife while Jacob fastened Milo in the seat and sat down next to him. Ellie took a seat between her dad and Jacob.

  Ryan cleared his throat. “Everyone is here. Welcome. A little tradition we have is to go around the table and say what we are thankful for.”

  Ellie had missed too many Thanksgivings with her dad. A sense of fulfillment filled her chest. She had so much to be thankful for. They all did.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Just a minute.” God, it was nice to hear a knock at the door and not panic. She glanced at the clock. Jacob wasn’t supposed to be there for another hour. She smiled and opened the door. “You’re earl—” Her smile faded as the woman she hadn’t seen since she was four stood in front of her. “Mom?”

  The tall redhead with lips much larger than Ellie recalled, grinned. “Oh, good. You remember me.”

  Ellie was speechless. Her mom had taken off when she was a little girl without so much as an explanation or a goodbye. Her dad was heartbroken. She could hear him crying in the middle of the night sometimes. Yet, he never said one bad word about her mom. He just told her that she was confused and maybe someday she’d be back. That she still loved them no matter what. Ellie had given up hope by the time she was ten. Now that someday was today. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words didn’t come out. Instead, she stood there with her mouth open.

  “You’re so pretty. Can I come in?”

  She stepped aside without a word. Her mom walked past her and sat down on Ellie’s sofa like it was the most natural thing in the world to do.

  Ellie walked over to the chair beside the sofa and sat down. “What are you doing here?” she finally managed.

  Her mom crossed her long legs and folded her hands on her knee. “I guess I owe you an explanation for why I disappeared when you were little.”

  Ellie swallowed the large lump in her throat. “Let’s start with why you are here now.”

  Her mom let out a breath. “Fair enough. I missed you.” She reached out to touch Ellie’s arm, and Ellie moved away.

  “You missed me?” Anger and disappointment had replaced her surprise. “Did you miss me when I lost my first tooth? Or when I had my first dance? How about when I graduated high school?” Tears stung the back of her eyes, but she widened them and blinked. She would not shed a tear for this woman. This stranger.

  Her mom nodded and hung her head. “I was sick, El.”

  Ellie pressed her lips together. “Don’t call me that. My name is Ellie. You have no right to call me anything but.”

  “Okay, Ellie. I was sick.” She licked her plump bottom lip. “I was an addict.”

  Ellie looked over at the lamp on the end table. “An addict? What are you talking about? Dad never said anything about that.”

  “It’s true. What did he say?”

  Ellie narrowed her eyes. “I’ll tell you what he didn’t say is anything negative about you. Ever.”

  She ran a hand over her short hair. “I’m sorry I hurt you both. I cared about nothing or no one when I was using. Your dad gave me an ultimatum, you two or the drugs.” She swallowed. “I guess you know which I chose.”

  Ellie frowned. “I guess I do.”

  “I’m better. I’ve been clean for three years.”

  Acid rose in Ellie’s throat and her chest tightened as though she couldn’t breathe. Why did her mom have to come back? She would have rather not known her mom was a junkie. “Good for you.”

  “I can’t believe you’re still here in Pleasant Valley. Somehow I thought you might have moved away.”

  “I did move away. Lived in New York for a long time.”

  Her mom’s eyes widened. “My baby in New York. Wow.”

  “I’m not your baby.”

  A tear slid down her mom’s high cheek bone. “I guess I deserve that.”

  “Yeah, you do. Does dad know you are here?”

  “No. I don’t expect him to forgive me.” Her mom picked at a loose thread on her pants. She swallowed and looked down. “I was hoping you could.”

  Ellie stood up and paced. “I just don’t know. Too much has happened.” She glanced at her mom’s pale face. “I need some time to process this.”

  Her mom stood up. “Take all the time you need. If you want to get a hold of me, I’m staying at Garden Roof Inn.”

  Awestruck, Ellie watched her mom get up and leave.

  ***

  Jacob’s arms wrapped around her gave her at least some comfort. He listened while she’d told him about her mom leaving all those years ago and then showing up at her door tonight. He kissed her head. “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.” Ellie squeezed Jacob’s hand. “I don’t want to think about this anymore tonight.”

  Jacob sighed. “What if she leaves again? I just think you may regret not going to her while you have the chance.”

  Her eyes widened. “And say what? That I forgive her?” She shook her head. “I can’t do that.”

  He turned her chin toward him. “Just hear me out. I lost my mom, too. And if she came back for only a minute, I’d forgive her for not telling me about my sister.”

  “But that is different! Your mom never left you!”

  “I know it’s not the same thing, but—”

  “No, it’s not the same at all. Don’t judge me. I can’t help how I feel.” Ellie let go of his hand and crossed her arms.

  “No matter what, she is still your mom.”

  “Oh, is she? Excuse me if I don’t agree.”

  Jacob frowned. “Maybe I should go.”

  Ellie sniffled. “Maybe you should.”

  The only man she’d ever been in love with walked out the door. She picked up the pillow on the sofa and threw it across the room. Her silent tears turned into noisy sobs. She grabbed the other pillow and cried into it to muffle the sound. The last thing she wanted right now was for Viola to hear her next door.

  ***

  The cold November wind stung Jacob’s cheeks as he walked out to his truck. His first disagreement with Ellie felt like someone had sucker punched him right in the throat. Frustrated, he climbed into his truck. Maybe she just needed some time. He understood why she was upset. She had a right to be. Halfway home he realized his error. Damn, why didn’t he tell her that? He was so concerned that she would regret her decision he forgot to sympathize with her.

  His mom had made tons of mistakes with him, but she was still his mom and he loved her. Things would work themselves out. He just hated seeing Ellie so upset. Their alone time was so precious now that he had Milo and he went and screwed it up. Feeling like crap, he pulled into Ryan’s driveway to pick up his son. He zipped up his jacket and got out.

&
nbsp; “Back so soon?” Ryan asked as he opened the door.

  Jacob walked inside. “Yeah. Had a bit of a disagreement with Ellie.”

  Ryan shut the door. “Sit down and tell me what’s going on in paradise. Maisie has the kiddos downstairs playing with cardboard building blocks. Milo loves knocking them down.”

  Jacob raked his fingers through his windblown hair and sat down on the tweed sofa. “Ellie’s mom left them when Ellie was four.” He paused. “And tonight she showed up at Ellie’s door asking for forgiveness.”

  “Man, that’s rough.” Ryan leaned back in his seat. “What did you disagree about?”

  “I told Ellie that she would regret not going to her mom.” He cringed.

  He arched a brow. “Too soon?”

  “Apparently.”

  “Let her calm down and I’m sure she’ll make the right decision for her.”

  Jacob sighed. “I hope so.”

  ***

  Ellie woke up on her dad’s sofa with the pale yellow afghan tucked around her. She smelled coffee and blueberry pancakes. Dad made breakfast? Still in her clothes from last night, she sauntered into the kitchen.

  “Good morning!” Her dad piled four pancakes on a plate and set it on the table, motioning for her to sit down.

  “Morning.” Ellie yawned. “Sorry about all the whining I did last night.”

  Her dad took a plate of pancakes and sat down across from her. “You had every right.” When Jacob left last night she felt so alone and confused. Without thinking, she had run home to her dad’s. He listened and hugged her, then turned on the TV and they watched re-runs like old times. She thought she could see tears in his eyes when the light from the TV flickered.

  “So do you, Dad. She left both of us. I know how hard that must have been for you to raise me all alone.” She took a drink of her coffee. “And you never complained or cried in front of me.”

  “I had to be strong for you, dear Ellie.”

  She put her hand over his. “You don’t have to anymore. I’m all grown up now.” She laughed and waved a hand in the air. “Never mind that I slept on your sofa and you tucked me in while I was sleeping.”

  He grinned. “You will always be my little girl. And I’m fine. I knew what was wrong with your mom and somehow it did make it a little easier knowing she had no control over what she was doing to us.” He poured more syrup over his stack. “And while I will never have a relationship with her again, it doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t, if that is what you want.”

  Ellie sat down her fork. “That’s just it. I don’t know what I want.”

  He pushed his glasses up on his nose. “You don’t have to decide until you do know what you want. She took her time coming back to you. You can take your time figuring out what that means for both of you.”

  Ellie pushed in her chair and walked over to her dad. She kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks, and thanks for breakfast.”

  ***

  Saturday morning Jacob woke up to make Milo breakfast. Baby oatmeal looked disgusting, but his little boy seemed to love the stuff. He barely slept last night, worrying about Ellie. If she didn’t call him soon, they would take a drive over to see her. Milo smacked his mouth, making oatmeal drool down his bib.

  Jacob cleaned Milo off with a damp cloth. There was a quick knock at the door, and he couldn’t answer it fast enough. Please be Ellie.

  He swung open the door and grinned. “Hi.”

  She smiled and came inside. “Hi. I’m sorry about last night.”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m the one that should apologize. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

  Milo reached for Ellie and she took him, planting a kiss on his cheek. “He smells like oatmeal. I love that smell.”

  Jacob drew his eyebrows together. “You do?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  Milo babbled and patted Ellie’s hair. It was the sweetest sight.

  “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to bundle Milo up and go visit the house. It’s completely framed. And if you can use your imagination, you can almost see the rooms.”

  “I’d love to. It’s not bad outside, though. It’s really sunny. He probably just needs his light jacket.”

  ***

  Red and yellow leaves crunched beneath their feet. Ellie looked at the wood skeleton that would soon be their home. She walked through as Jacob gave her the tour. It was all coming together.

  Jacob walked around on the slab of cement with a content look in his eyes. “And this will be Milo’s room.”

  Ellie looked down at Milo. “Hear that, baby boy? This is your room. I think we should decorate it with trains.” Jacob put his arms around them, making Ellie feel loved and protected.

  “He’d like that.”

  Ellie looked down at Milo. “You know, your daddy’s not half bad at painting, either.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Ellie’s nerves were on edge as she knocked on her mom’s door at the Garden Roof Inn. Still not sure what she would say to her, she’d driven over anyway.

  “Ellie! You came.” Her mom smiled. She was still in her PJs, and it was noon.

  She took a deep breath and nodded. “Can I come in?”

  “Please, come in.”

  Hesitation coursed through her as she stepped into the room. The bed was unmade, and an open full-sized bag of chips and a can of soda were set on the oak nightstand. Dirty clothes were thrown in the corner. The ugliest picture of flowers with a plaid matted frame hung over the bed. The place was a wreck.

  “Sorry.” Her mom walked over to the bed. “I can make this real quick.”

  “It’s fine.” This was so awkward. Maybe even more awkward than her high school prom date leaving with a guy.

  Her mom flipped the comforter over the rumpled sheets and patted the bed. The woman was messy.

  Ellie took a seat on the lumpy bed. “I don’t really know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. You came. That says a lot.”

  She had to know something that had been bothering her. “Why did you turn to drugs? What caused you to do such a thing?”

  “I suffered from depression. It was no one’s fault, but I found that pills could give me the relief I needed. Not just the ones prescribed for me, but stronger. After a while they weren’t enough. I needed more to satisfy my cravings.”

  “I—” Ellie swallowed. “You hurt dad, which hurt me. There were hundreds of times I wanted a mom and I didn’t have one. Dad had to talk to me about periods and boys. And he did, vaguely. But he did his best.” She secretly cursed the tears blurring her vision. “That being said, the past is the past. I can forgive you, but I can’t promise that I’ll ever forget having to grow up without a mom.”

  “Oh El—sorry, I mean Ellie—that is all I can ask. I want to start over and get to know my daughter. I know I can never make up for what I’ve done.”

  “I’m not saying we’ll ever be close, but we can see what happens.”

  Her mom nodded. “Can I hug you?”

  She didn’t want a hug from this woman, but she’d promised herself that she would try. “Okay.”

  Her mom hugged her tight, like she was trying to get in years’ worth of hugs at once. Ellie hugged her back loosely.

  Ellie pulled away after a moment. “One more thing. If you ever start taking pills again, I want you to leave and never ever come back. I have a family now to think about, and I do not want them subjected to anything like that.”

  “Understood.”

  ***

  “Let’s do it.” Ellie kissed Jacob’s luscious lips. “Why have a long engagement? We’ve both wasted so much time already.”

  Jacob arched a brow. “Are you sure? This is your first time. You don’t want a fancy wedding?”

  Ellie laughed. “We’ll still have a fancy wedding, silly. Viola, Maisie and Ginger are planning it.”

  “What if it snows? Is the canal really a good idea?”

  She placed her palms on his so
ft beard. “I’ll buy a warm dress.”

  Jacob laughed and pulled her to him. “I’ll keep you warm.”

  “That’s what I’m counting on.” She bit her lower lip.

  He frowned. “I’m sorry we don’t get a proper honeymoon. But I don’t want to leave Milo for more than a weekend.”

  “Hey, neither do I.” She smiled. “I’m sure we can make the most of those two days.”

  “As much as I’d like to start that now, I better get to work.”

  Ellie looked at the clock. “Me too! I’m hiring another full-time person.”

  ***

  Viola gasped. “That is the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen!”

  Ellie stood in front of the mirror with Viola, Ginger and Maisie surrounding her. She knew she’d found the perfect dress. The bodice made of white velvet was soft and warm. The skirt was silk overlaid with sheer crinoline sewn with tiny iridescent pearls. The thin white gloves came up past her elbows. She truly felt like a princess. Joy filled her heart as she placed the long veil over her hair.

  “Honey, you are a vision.” Ginger smiled and touched her elbow.

  Maisie nodded. “I think a winter wedding is very romantic!”

  Ellie bit her lower lip. “Jacob is worried it might snow. I kind of hope it does.”

  Viola’s phone rang and she walked away. Ellie glanced at the back of her gown in the mirror.

  The sales lady came over to them. “Do we have a winner?”

  Ellie smiled. “Yes, we do.”

  Viola walked back over. “It’s all set. The canal spot you wanted is booked. As long as it isn’t below freezing, the fountains will be on.”

  Everything was falling into place, for once in her life. Ellie changed out of the dress and back into jeans and sweatshirt, unable to keep the grin off her face.

  ***

  Just as she’d hoped, it snowed just enough to dust the colored limestone beneath their feet. Ellie held on to her dad’s arm as he walked her over the iron bridge. The water fountains made a soothing sound as the water splashed. The white reception tent was glowing with candle light in the distance.

  “You look so beautiful,” he whispered as they made their way to the crowd of people. Ellie noticed her mom standing in the back row on the end. She’d shown up. It was a start. Ellie was at peace no matter how their relationship turned out. As bad as the answers were, she’d finally gotten them from the mom that had become a stranger over the years.